Drinking games are cool.

Rob's birthday was the 21st of this month (*cheers*), and, if you've read my blogs up to this point, you can probably guess we considered that a perfect excuse to party. :)

At our little gathering, we instructed some of our novice drinking buddies in the ways of both Asshole and The Derby.

Asshole is probably a familiar game to anyone who's been to a college party. The Derby, however, is a creation of our own.

Drinking games are great for so many reasons:

1. They're ice-breakers.
2. They get the party started quickly.
3. They allow everyone to be silly without having to make fools of themselves in a public place.
4. They keep drunk people safely contained in a residence (where they aren't driving).

When we sat down to play our birthday party drinking games and found that not everyone knew the rules, I suddenly realized my true purpose in life:

I must educate the world in the ways of drinking games.

By no means can this brief explanation be considered a comprehensive list of all alcohol-related recreation. However, I hope it will inspire you to share other games, create your own, or simply practice good, drunken fun in the comfort of your own home.


Asshole
This is a card game with rules that are apparently regional. I'll post the rules we follow here, but know that if you go to Penn State or Georgia Tech, you may play a slightly different version. Basically speaking, the general idea should be the same.

Required materials:

• one deck of cards
• beer or liquor
• several people -- each person must have his/her own drink!

To start: Deal all the cards out, one at a time, to each person. To determine who goes first, we ask which player is holding the three of clubs. That lucky person puts down the 3 of clubs, face up, and the game begins.

The objective: You want to get rid of your cards first. If you fail to reach this goal, the game continues, and your new objective is to get rid of your cards as quickly as possible. The thing you do not want to happen is for you to be the last player with cards remaining.

The scoring: There usually isn't a scoring process in drinking games. You just drink where you would normally lose points. However, in Asshole, there is a ranking system. For the first round, of course, there is no ranking. But after one round is over, there will be a President (first player to get rid of his/her cards), a Vice President (second player to get rid of his/her cards), Treasurer... Secretary... etc., Fetch (next-to-last player to get rid of his/her cards), and Asshole (last player with cards remaining).

The ranks: The President is the winner. The Asshole is the loser. If you are President at the end of one round, you will be President in the next round until someone wins that rank from you later. In other words, you play the game over and over, and whatever rank you achieve at the end of one round is the rank you will be known as when you start the next.

President's details:

• The President gets to make a rule at the beginning of his/her presidency. The sillier, the better. Lift your pinky when you drink, no cursing, everyone gets a ridiculous name and must be called that for the rest of the night, don't say the word "drink," etc. Whenever someone accidentally breaks a President's rule (even if that President is no longer President at the time), the rule-breaker must drink.
• The President is the highest rank, and can therefore, at any time during his/her presidency and for no reason at all, tell anyone else in the game to drink.
• The President can request in what order the cards are dealt, to ensure he/she gets the best possible hand.

Lower-ranks' details:

• If you are a lower rank, you simply play the game and follow the rules. The only benefit of your rank is that you are not Asshole or Fetch, and you can make anyone with a lower rank drink at any time and for no reason at all.

Fetch's details:

• This person came very close to losing, and therefore has follow all the rules as well as get up to refill everyone's drink when they request it. Yes, even the Asshole's drink.
• The only benefit of this rank is that Fetch can tell the Asshole to drink any time and for no reason at all.

Asshole's details:

• The Asshole is not in a position to tell anyone to drink, and the Asshole must be nice, or else someone is likely to make him/her drink again.
• The Asshole has to deal the cards.
• The Asshole should be prepared to be bossed around.

To play: Match or beat any card that is thrown down on the table. If I put down a five and you are next to me (determine with your party whether you're going clockwise or counter -- change seats for ranks if you'd like to), you must put down a five or higher.

If you put down exactly what I put down, you skip the person after you. That person must drink. If I put down a five, and then you put down two fives, you skip the next two people, and they must drink.

If the person after you can't beat what you put down (for instance, I put down a five, and you beat that with three aces, but the next player has nothing to beat that), then that person must drink.

Doubles (two of a kind) will beat singles. Triples can beat doubles or singles. Quadruples can beat triples or doubles or singles, and you should all yell at the Asshole for having shuffled poorly. Anything more than four of a kind means someone is cheating. ;)

There are two wild cards. The better of these is the two, which is called a Clear. If you can't beat the triple aces that were thrown, you can always throw a single two. This will clear the table, and you get to go again, putting down anything you want.

The other wild card won't clear the table, but it lets you skip. Honestly, you could just pass and drink without throwing anything at all, but the object is to get rid of your cards anyway, and this is a fun way to do it. A four is called a Social. When you throw a four, you can put it on the triple aces as a way of getting rid of a card without having to play on a high number. Everyone at the table has to drink when a Social is thrown (even the President). This card does not clear the table, though, so the next person will have to play on the triple aces.

That's basically it for Asshole! :)

The Derby

This is one we came up with when Brent gave Mike a Tic-Tac-Toe shot glass board. No one could sort out how to make Tic-Tac-Toe a drinking game, so The Derby was born. It's pretty simple.

Required materials:

• nine shot glasses
• two players
• beer
• someone who can yell "One, two, three, GO!" at a moment's notice
• spectators who will cheer you on and perhaps challenge the winner

To start: Challenge someone to a Derby run.

The objective: Win the fifth shot glass.

The scoring: Unlike other games, you are not punished by having to drink. In The Derby, the winner is rewarded with more beer.

To play: Line up the shot glasses in three rows, like a Tic-Tac-Toe board. Fill each one with cold beer. Stand around talking to each other until someone yells, "One, two, three, GO!" When you hear those words, grab your first shot glass and start drinking as quickly as you can, finishing each one, trying to get to the middle (fifth) glass. Whoever gets there first gets to drink the last shot glass of beer. Everyone is amazed. The winner feels very cool.

That's it for The Derby! :)

Happy drinking! Be safe!